ARE YOU HAPPY?
Do you remember some of your beautiful childhood memories? Do you remember
the joy you felt all the times you played with your friends? Do you remember how
fast you used to become angry, and how fast you forgot what you were angry
about? OK, one more... Do you remember how happy you were when you ate candy? When
we were kids being happy came easy. What about now? Are you happy? As children
we could have answered this question without hesitation. What happened to us?
I shared the same question with a friend who seems to have it all. He
answered with great enthusiasm, "Of course I'm happy, I have everything I always
dreamed of having." Few seconds later he said, "but I believe I could be truly
happy if only I had a better wife ..." Well, psychologist's philosophers,
parents, poets, and many others have tried answering this question, since it is
a simple yet complex question. But to me, happiness is something different for
each individual. Happiness can be something uncertain or difficult to
achieve, but overall, it is attainable.
I cannot remember how many times I was asked this question. Neither do I
remember how many times I asked myself the same question. "Are you happy?" The
truth is that nobody can answer that question better than you, yourself, can.
Don't be a pessimist! Did you think I would give you the answer so easily? Allow
me to ask a question: Why do you wake up each morning? (Money, love, health,
obligation, fame, family, ect.)
A man of 43 years of age, with a family, and good job, but he was always sad.
Yet no one understood the reason for his sadness. In prayers he asked God to
send him lots of money, to enjoy when he became old. Early Sunday morning, he
went into the forest to pray. On his return home, he found a small old chest in
the bushes. Once he opened the small old chest, he noticed it was full of gold
coins. Overwhelmingly happy, he placed the box inside his jacket, and with great
excitement he ran home. After digging a deep hole behind his house --not sharing
his discovery with anyone-- he buried the chest. That afternoon his wife and
children saw the new happiness in his face and even though they didn't
understand it, they welcome his positive change.
Yet, that evening robbers who followed him that morning, dug up the small old
chest that was buried. Then the robbers quickly covered the hole, exactly as the
man himself had previously left it. Months passed and the man was much happier
everyday, leaving everyone to wonder the reason for his change. Later, due to
his dedication and skills he became the boss of bosses. Everyday he thought of
his wealth, while enjoying his family, his job, and his friendships. Without
noticing that the small old chest was gone, every day he gave thanks to God for
his blessings. As years went by he grew older, and continued to enjoy the
blessings in his life. Then one Sunday morning, he passed away in his
sleep.
You can choose to be the small chest, the robber, or the happy man. You can
always choose to be happy or unhappy. You can choose to enjoy today, complain
about the life which you live now, or change your life to what you want it to
be. Whether you wish to exercise your happiness or not, the final decision
is yours. To take this a little further, here are three questions you should ask
yourself:
1 - What happiness means to me? To be happy, you have to define it and
understand what it means to you.
2 - Do I enjoy the person I am today? Do you
respect or like the person you see in front of your mirror? Learn to forgive and
accept what you are today, if you haven't yet.
3 - Do I give thanks for the
things I already have? Be thankful for all you already have in your life
(health, life, love, etc.).
If you try to blame the past, destiny, the universe, God, or others for the
lack of happiness you have experience now, you will not find true happiness. If
you are now happy or unhappy, this is because you decided it. Let me give you an
example: If I offer you candy, and you do not accept it, you are the one who
chooses not to enjoy the delicious candy. However, if you accept the candy, and
you do not thank me, I may not feel the desire to offer you more of my delicious
candy in the future. Happiness works likewise. If you stop for a moment and
make calculations regarding the decisions you've made, you may realize that they
have brought you exactly where you are today. It is all based on your actions,
thoughts, and words.
"Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you
design for the present." ~Jim Rohn
Therefore, everything you think, speak, or practice in the present affects
your future. The good news is that if you're not happy now, you can change it.
Be happy by changing the way you think, and act towards your own life. Your
destiny is in your hands, not in the hands of your significant other, your
parents, your boss, or your friends. God, the universe, your divine creator, is
ready to give you everything you desire, and even more than you can imagine. But
it's your choice to accept the candy called happiness if you want it, and when
you want it.
If you are about to cross a bridge, do not think about the gap underneath the bridge; Think about what you will feel after crossing that bridge. Decide to be happy, and always be honest with yourself. Give thanks for what you already have today, and tomorrow you may have much more to be thankful for. Always remember, you deserve to be happy!
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AFRAID? OVERCOME YOUR FEARS
If
Being afraid is normal, and if you are human just as I am then you feel fear
from time to time. Feeling fear is not always a bad thing since fear can be
healthy or unhealthy. A healthy fear is an emotion that warns us about upcoming
dangers, preventing us from making mistakes. A healthy fear protects us from
physical and/or emotional injuries. However, many times we promote unhealthy
fear. Yes, we promote this by due to experiences we had in the past, or
anxieties we feel in regards to the future. Unhealthy fear takes control over
our minds, making us feel paranoid about what could happen. Allowing fear to
control us and keep us from experiencing the joy we deserve.
One of my biggest fears as a child was being in the dark. I hated dark rooms, dark corners, and I hated the night. The reason I hated the dark was due to watching so many horror movies. Because of this I began believing the horror I saw in those movie could be real. Well, I grew up and I still fear the dark. No one knew it, but I knew about it and that was enough. One day, I decided I was tired and should no longer fear the dark. I had no children at the time. I asked myself, how could I help my children with their fear when I was not able to overcome my own. I had to do something.
One weekend during the month of May, I decided to stay home alone and watch horror movies. I told myself that I would find out why I was so afraid. I also decided to find something positive from each horror movie. For some peculiar reason, that night it rained. While I watched the movie it began to storm, and I became overly fearful. Before each movie going to the restroom was difficult, and the darkness seems to be alive. After each movie I wrote what I learned on a sheet of paper.
Yes, believe it or not, I learned something. From the movie Nightmare on Elm Street written by Wes Craven I learned to be careful what I fed my brain. I defined what was real and what was not real. I also learned that I must find a way out or further in, but find the way. Today, I continue to watch horror movie and always learn something new each time, without fear of the dark.
The umbrella of fear is very large since everyone is afraid of something or someone. Some people are afraid of the past coming back to haunt them, fear of the unknown future, fear of rejection, fear of love, fear of roaches, fear of heights, fear of their parents, fear of pain, fear of aging, fear of poverty, fear of losing one's self, etc. However, it is vital that we face our fear, if we do not face our fear we miss out on fully enjoying life. You only have one life to live: live it.
Overcome Your Fear: It is vital that you work towards facing your fears. If you don't face your fear, your fear will steal your joy. There are different ways to overcome fear, but since fear is a personal issue, your must focus on what is best for you. My fear of darkness vanished after my decision to watch movies all night. Although it worked for me, it may not work for everyone else. Therefore, decide what is going to work for you after utilizing some of the following methods:
In order to overcome your fears, you must first learn about them. If you analyze your currently afraid of, you may learn about the weaknesses and the strengths of that fear. Why is this important? Let's put it this way. If you are going to war you need to have some knowledge about your enemy, right? If you don't know anything about your enemy, there is a great chance you lost a battle that has not yet begun.
"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing you think you cannot do." ~Eleanor Roosevelt
Once you have studied your fear you will be able to define if the fear is healthy or unhealthy, and move forward with a battle plan. The best way to challenge your fear is to do that which you are afraid of. Be mindful of the law or doing anything that may cause your death. Other than that, don't let fear stop you. When I am afraid, "I do it anyway."
Keep in mind that the negative emotions you experience from your fears often come as a result of what your mind has compiled. First change the way you are thinking, be honest, think positive, and have a better attitude about your situation (any situation). Your mind will then change your emotions and you can have a better experience. Do not allow fear to stop you from doing that, which is important to you. Contact Sandra Now!
Copyright 2010 Sandra Graves.